I had never loved someone
that much,
and at that time, I thought
I had never been adored
that way before.
So to tell you the truth,
it did hurt. I was scarred.
For quite a while, I was numbed.
I yearned for a release.
I wanted you to leave.
But I didn’t know how to
let go of all those routines,
like kissing cheeks at the door,
or fooling around and giggling,
under the blanket.

And at the moment I don’t know
why I still linger
and laugh
and cry
next to you.
I don’t know whether my hope is renewed,
or I was way too fractured
to carry on.